Scorpio (23rd October – 21st November)
November is dominated by the mystical rulings of Scorpio and if you, or indeed someone you love, happens to fall into this particular phase of the zodiac cycle, I strongly advise that you read on.
Let’s talk about Halloween. Unless of course you parents hit the jackpot (birthday + spooky festivities with loads of sweets), it’s mostly a huge distraction from the all-important fact that YOU WERE BORN around now a few years ago!! The stars tell me that your life pursuit is to “survive against all opposition”, and so you are making this season all about number one. At this year’s Halloween parties, you dressed up as your fine ol’ self and won every ‘best costume’ award in the West End. On Bonfire Night, you cleared the Byres Road Waitrose of fireworks and set up a light display of your own face in the Botanical Gardens. As deadlines loomed, you produced an essay that offered a theory on the phenomenon of YOU and scraped an A. It’s your month and you’re killing it. Opposition exterminated.
I have witnessed in the movement of the stars that you are feeling particularly unforgiving this month, and I sense a shift in this energy over the next week. You like a good walk through Kelvingrove Park (particularly past the tennis courts – phwoar, your crush doing lunges in white shorts), and I advise you to remain vigilant around woodland creatures. Squirrels may look so deliciously soft you could wear them as a scarf, but be reminded that they are feral, savage beasts. Beneath that cool, urban, hipster exterior lies a heart set purely on collecting nuts and harassing humans. Squirrels view you as a target for their own sick games of manipulation. Will I sniff your hand tentatively? Or will I claw my way up your leg and ladder your tights? Am I really as shy as I appear? Or am I ready to snatch that chip right out of your trembling hand?
Pigeons may look like balding, overweight men in navy suits with wings attached, but their true identity is shocking. Pigeons love nothing more than crapping in places they shouldn’t, loitering in large groups and eating baby pigeons (have you ever seen a baby pigeon? No? Exactly
Stay clustered in groups while crossing woodland creatures. Keep your valuables on your person. Never forget, and most certainly do not forgive, Scorpio.
By Amy McShane